I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
fuck your aforementioned shoe
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
