fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
