with your own penis?
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
