I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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