I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
