Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
