And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
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