I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
he's single and there are thong briefs.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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