Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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