You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
