My brain says no but my pants say off.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
