Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
