Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
