So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Randomize
