He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
