I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Rumble strips road head = magical
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
