I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Randomize
