? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
