East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
