Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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