i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
