My friends, they love my intelligence
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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