You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
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