Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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