I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Randomize
