barbara walters just said penis...
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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