Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
