before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
