NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
