.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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