I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
