Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
