you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
