I hate all girls vehemently.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
