I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
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