I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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