How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I could make wine with my vomit
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Randomize
