At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
