I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
