So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
