So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
