i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
