bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize
