you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
