so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Randomize
