i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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