I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
