We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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