dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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