say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
