My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
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