the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
did you just send me my own nude
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
try to milk me bitch
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