I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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