My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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