I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Randomize
