Only a mothe r could love this liver
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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